Well, here goes. I'm blogging. Watch out interwebs, it's on.
I did a lot of nerdy research before deciding to write this, because I didn't want to be the total idiot who started a blog because I'm a giant lemming, and about halfway through the research, I decided that I didn't care if I am a blogging idiot. I'm going to pull a dude move, and do this sans directions. So here it is. You've been warned.
Life is strange.
Haha. That line is TOTALLY what I envisioned every blogger who thought they had so much to say starting off with.
*Side note...I cannot guarantee this will be remotely close to grammatically correct, and I don't really care. If you do, leave this blog now. Don't read it because of my exceptional writing skills...read it because you get a giggle out of it, or you want to read it and be like, 'OMG, that girl is so ANNOYING', but don't read it so you can get your red tape out and go all Law & Order on my blog. Kthxbai.*
Anyhow. 'Life is strange' is not at all how I am going to start this, even if it is heinously true.
I'm a big dork. And I'm courageous, or at least I think I am. And I have a track record that reads that way. Or stupid. It could read stupid as well, but if I'm being honest, courageous and stupid are mildly synonymous when you think about it. With that said, I have made several decisions in my life that have led me here, which have included joining the military on a whim (stupid), moving to Chicago because why the hell not (courageous) and my most recent adventure, moving to LA to pursue dreams I've had since I was little (stupid and courageous?...but only with the help of the most amazing person in my life - Keri).
So that's where I am right now. In LA. Feverishly, obsessively, crazily sending my resume and cover letter to any and everyone with a post online ANYWHERE having to do with the film and television industry. Why? Because I had a pivotal moment about a year ago that made me realize that it is really damn silly to wake up everyday and go to a job you hate, to do something you really don't like, all because society says you have to. Because that's what 20 something's do, right? Well, I've never done things the way they were supposed to be done, so no sense in changing now.
Why tell you all this and bore you with menial details of my life? Why sound like an extended Pinterest Inspiration Pin (Pinterest singlehandedly changed and also ruined my life)? Because.
Because the other day I was doing laundry and thinking about writing a blog, and not really sure what to mindlessly type on about, and then I tripped on the sidewalk. The sidewalk. And I was a little embarrassed, even though no one was around. Then later, I was telling Keri about it, and boom, it hit me. Why not write about all the ridiculously embarrassing things that have happened to me, or that I've brought upon myself, that have in turn taught me lessons? I'm not expecting any of you guys to be commenting that the things that I say are changing your life and yada yada, but I do hope it gives you a laugh, and maybe makes you feel a little less silly when you trip on the sidewalk.
Also, the only time I will EVER post a recipe on here is if something preciously horrible happens while I'm attempting to cook said recipe, resulting in a giggle. Otherwise, do not count on me for helpful cleaning tips or how to be in shape, and certainly do not look for recipes. My best is a bowl of cereal.
Yesterday I learned a lesson about thin walls. Keri went back to Chicago, and I was half wallowing in self-pity and half pretending that I am a super strong, independent chick who isn't sad that my love is 2100 miles away, so I was watching youtube clips of a show we started watching while Keri was still here - as you do when you're wallowing/asserting your inner strength. I was also eating an obscene amount of (delicious) calories, and decided that I should do something that could qualify as doing work for my newly embarked-upon career path, so I watched a movie. (It counts.) I put on "For a Good Time Call", which if you haven't seen it, is HILARIOUS and amazing and I love it. It's a movie about a lot of things like friendship, and finding yourself in your twenties, and phone sex.
Porn? No. Phone sex? Yes. And just in case my mom reads this, it's tastefully done and there is not a bit of nudity to be found. Ok.
There is no nudity, however, there is a LARGE amount of what one could call dirty noises and dirty talk in this film. Now, yesterday it was 88 degrees here in the Valley. Why mention that, Candice? Because my living quarters were toasty, so I had the air on. Because the air was on, the volume was up loud - the air condition is noisy - as I was enjoying my film.
Cut to later -
I'm in bed, have finished watching movies and wallowing, and I hear some noise. At first I'm like, oh snap, something is in my shower (too much "research" with scary movies, obv), then I'm like, hm, no. I can hear a conversation. Like an entire, total words, conversation. So I'm listening - do not shun me, you would listen too - and it's dudes, and they are talking dude talk, what they're gonna do tonight, blah blah. And then it hits me. My new neighbors probably heard my movie I was watching. Except they probably don't know it's a movie.
So I'm lying in bed, no longer wallowing in self pity, but instead, in immense embarrassment that I'm now probably the girl next door who is either a phone sex operator, or having some intense, passionate moments.
Walls are thin people. Turn the volume down.
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